April 10, 2014

Everything I Know I Learned from B Movies: Extra Special 101st Post Milestone Edition

A funny thing happened on the way to composing this post. I was mucking around behind the scenes with some administrative stuff when I noticed that the last post in March was the blog’s 100th! I had been intending to do something special, so I don’t know how this one got past me (not that "Night of the Living Dead Housewife" isn’t special, but it’s not special in a commemorative milestone/anniversary way).

The Extra Special, 101st Milestone Post
No services for the next 101 posts.
So far, I’ve remembered the blog’s second and third anniversaries with dual and triple reviews. Fortunately, there’s no one holding me to account or consigning me to the dog house when I slip. But then, I’m my own worst critic / nitpicker. It bothers me that I didn’t at least put up some paper streamers and serve virtual cake and ice cream for the occasion.

But all is not lost. In the spirit of those persnickety nitpickers who correctly pointed out that the new millennium started in 2001, not 2000, I’ve decided to celebrate the blog’s new “century” with a most extraordinary, extra special, highly engaging and educational 101st post.

I was tempted at first to do a “best of the blog” sort of thing, but that would have forced me to choose favorites from among so many beloved progeny, and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. So I reached into my bag of tricks, all the way to the bottom, and pulled out an oldie (but a goodie).

Way, way back in December of 2010, with just my second post, I expounded on how surprisingly educational and thought-provoking B movies could be. I came up with a mini-Bartlett’s of my favorite quotes from B and genre movies that still speak to the human condition. Back then, the librarian in me insisted on sorting and categorizing them. This go round, I thought it would be more fun to just throw them out in the haphazard order I discovered them in digging around in databases and books.

So then, to celebrate the new Films from Beyond century, here is your college education for the real world in a single blog post, courtesy of some old, bedraggled B’s (and a few authentic classics). With age, there is wisdom.

There's only one trouble with running away - you always meet yourself when you get there.” - Bertram Garvey (John Van Dreelen), The Leech Woman (1960)

Poster - The Leech Woman (1960)
“All places are alike when you’re broke.” – Chuck Scott (Bob Cummings), The Chase (1946)

“Don’t ask a dying man to lie his soul into Hell.” – Sam Lubinsky (Sam Levene), The Killers (1946)

Sessom (Francis X. Bushman): “We let our machines do all our work. People on Rheton became completely free of all labor, practically of all responsibility. Our people became soft and lazy. They did not know how to cope with their free time. They started to fight among themselves."

Capt. Frank Chapman (Dean Fredericks): “That's very interesting. Many people on Earth are beginning to face the same problem: too much free time, too little work.” - The Phantom Planet (1961)

“Our whole existence is one big problem after another.” – Johnny (Charles Crafts), Glen or Glenda (1953)

“Until you have tried and failed, nothing is impossible!” – Dr. Steve Connors (Philip Carey), The Time Travelers (1964)

“There's no place else to go and pretty soon we'll all be dead, so forget it! Enjoy yourself! Let's sing and dance while we can! Come on, blow your mind!” – Yukio Keuchi (Toshio Shiba), Godzilla Vs. The Smog Monster (1971)

“Armageddon. The slaughter of humanity. An atomic war no one wanted, but which no one had the wisdom to avoid.” – Timmek (Everett Glass), World Without End (1956)

“Why should a single life be so important?” – Dr. Sigmund Walters (John Carradine), Captive Wild Woman (1943)

“Strangely enough, the swan dive was invented before the swan.” - Narrator, Prehistoric Women (1950)

Poster - Monster on the Campus (1958)
Edmond Bateman (Boris Karloff): “Maybe if a man is ugly, he does ugly things.”

Dr. Vollin (Bela Lugosi): “You are saying something profound.” - The Raven (1935)

Dr. Blake (Arthur Franz): “Do you know anything about paleontology?”

Molly (Helen Westcott): “I know that very attractive men study it.” - Monster on the Campus (1958)

“Murderers! They’re all alike. Society would be better off without them!” Prison guard, Diary of a Madman (1963)

“Greetings my friends. We are all interested in the future because that’s where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.” Criswell, Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)

“You can’t just go round killing people whenever the notion strikes you. It’s not feasible.” - Marty Waterman (Elisha Cook Jr.), Born to Kill (1947)

Poster - Pickup on South Street (1953)
“Every extra buck has a meaning all its own.” - Moe Williams (Thelma Ritter), Pickup on South Street (1953)

“It’s getting so it ain’t even safe to be dead!” - Gravedigger, Return of the Vampire, 1944

“They let ‘em smoke and drive. They even put ‘em in pants. And what do you get? A Democrat for president!” - Old man, Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)

“You’re only young once, and this could be that once!” - Bad girl (Anne Neyland), Motorcycle Gang, 1957

“The future is a drag, man. The future is a flake.” - Beat chick, High School Confidential (1958)

“The meek shall NOT inherit the earth -- they can’t be trusted with it!” - Corbeck (James Villers), Blood From the Mummy’s Tomb (1971)

“The truth? What do you want with that? If you want to be a success in life forget the truth.” - Max (Michael Ripper), Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (1968)

Poster - The Werewolf (1956)
Capt. Neal Patterson (Eric Fleming): “You don't just accidentally land on a planet 36,000,000 miles away!”

Prof. Konrad (Paul Birch): “It would appear that all things are possible in space.” - Queen of Outer Space (1958)

“Doctors try to save people. The Law doesn't always have a choice.” - Sheriff Jack Haines (Don Megowan), The Werewolf (1956)

“In this world you turn the other cheek and you get hit with a lug wrench.” - Walter Williams (Brian Donlevy), Impact (1949)

“My son, there’s murder in every intelligent man’s heart.” - Michael Ward (John McGuire), Stranger on the Third Floor (1940)

“All women are rivals, fundamentally.” - Dr. Scott Elliott (Lew Ayres), Dark Mirror (1946)

“The good things always happen with the rain.” - Nora (Salome Jens), Seconds (1966)

“Choosin' a way to die? What's the difference? Choosin' a way to live - that's the hard part.” - Ben Vandergroat (Robert Ryan), The Naked Spur (1953)

“Life is a messy weapon.” - Pagliacci (Larry Tucker), Shock Corridor (1953)

“Nobody ever wins a cold war.” - Inspector Lomax (Jack Warner), The Quatermass Xperiment (1955)

“You know, a good marriage has a kind of simple glory about it. A good marriage is a rare animal, hard to find - almost impossible to keep.” - Judge Tolliver (Edgar Buchanan), Ride the High Country (1962)

Poster - Beginning of the End (1957)
“Call no man happy who is not dead!” - Ammon (Burgess Meredith), Clash of the Titans (1981)

“These days they blame the atom for everything. Bad health, bad crops, bad weather. Now it’s grasshoppers.” - Soldier, Beginning of the End (1957)

“Home is where you go and where they have to let you in.” - John Quincy (George Sanders), The Strange Affair of Uncle Harry (1945)

“Life’s like a ball game. You gotta take a swing at whatever comes along before you wake up and find it’s the ninth inning.” - Vera (Ann Savage), Detour (1945)

“You want to play with matches, that’s your business. But not in gas-filled rooms.” - Frank Jessup (Robert Mitchum), Angel Face (1953)

“I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. Believe me, rich is better.” - Debby Marsh (Gloria Grahame), The Big Heat (1953)

Professor Bernard Quatermass (Andrew Keir): "The will to survive is an odd phenomenon. Roney, if we found out our own world was doomed, say by climatic changes, what would we do about it?"
Dr. Mathew Roney (James Donald): "Nothing, just go on squabbling like usual." - Quatermass and the Pit (aka Five Million Years to Earth; 1967)

Poster - The Tingler (1959)
“The tingler exists in every human being, we now know. Look at that tingler, Dave. It's an ugly and dangerous thing - ugly because it's the creation of man's fear; dangerous because... because a frightened man is dangerous.” - Dr. Warren Chapin (Vincent Price), The Tingler (1959)

“It's the age of the mind that's important, not the body.” - Maj. Horace Holly (Peter Cushing), She (1965)

“The world's here to be enjoyed, not to make you depressed. That's what work does, Harold, it makes you feel depressed.” - Jerry (Ray Dennis Steckler), The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies (1964)

“In my practice, I've seen how people have allowed their humanity to drain away. Only it happened slowly instead of all at once. They didn't seem to mind... All of us - a little bit - we harden our hearts, grow callous. Only when we have to fight to stay human do we realize how precious it is to us, how dear.” - Dr. Miles Bennell (Kevin McCarthy), Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

“Mankind is on the verge of destroying itself. The only hope for the human race is to hurl it back into its primitive norm, to start all over again. What's one life compared to such a triumph?” - Dr. Alfred Brandon (Whit Bissell), I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957)

“Heresy? Do they still burn men for heresy? Then burn me monsieur, light the fire! Do you think your little candle will outshine the flame of truth?” - Dr. Mirakle (Bela Lugosi), Murders in the Rue Morgue (1932)

“There are times when a mere scientist has gone as far as he can, when he must pause and observe respectfully while something infinitely greater assumes control.” - Dr. Karl Eckstrom (John Emery), Rocketship X-M (1950)

“What is death that it should be feared so much?” - Dr. Ludwig Weiss (Arnold Marle), The Man Who Could Cheat Death (1959)

“If you believe you are gullible. Can you look around this world and believe in the goodness of a god who rules it? Famine, Pestilence, War, Disease and Death! They rule this world.” - Prospero (Vincent Price), The Masque of the Red Death (1964)

“The city can be lonely too. Sometimes people who are never alone are the loneliest.” - Mary Malden (Ida Lupino), On Dangerous Ground (1951)

“Well, that's the way it is. You're a fighter, you gotta fight.” - Stoker (Robert Ryan), The Set-up (1949)


  1. Congratulations on your anniversary and new beginning. There is indeed much to be learned from our movies, oh wise one.

    Many still grapple with this from "Charlie Chan in Reno":

    "Man yet to be born who can tell what woman will or will not do."

    1. Thanks!! Right now I'm not posting as much as I'd like, but I'm still enjoying it too much to give it up altogether.

      There's enough wisdom in Charlie Chan movies to fuel a dozen or more anniversary posts! (I have to admit I had to look up Charlie Chan in Reno -- pretty sure I've never seen it. Just between you and me we here in Southern Nevada like to pretend Reno doesn't exist... ;-)